Haunting happiness
The second (& infinite) coming
You never really realise how, but one day It’s upon you.
Life is normal, blank-faced and dreary in monotony, but insufficient to prevent It from coming.
Most of the time It’s invisible and you don’t notice It. Sometimes when you’re in bed at night, wet-eyed and shrouded in darkness, you think you can see It lurking between the shadows You avert your eyes, pretend not to see It, and bury the thought in heavy guilt that weighs on your shoulders.
Nothing you do will stop It. It creeps at your heels as you walk down grey pavements, It sits behind you on the dimly-lit bus, It perches on your shoulder when you are in the midst of a downward spiral on the internet. It peers through the window at you, waiting for the right time to pounce.
The wait is excruciating. Time passes slowly, the needle barely moving. You are frozen in a purgatorial limbo, a cycle of in-betweenness. You are plunged in anticipation for something that is on the brink of arriving, yet never seems to come. The air is heavy with a familiar stale frigidity. Yet somehow — It is almost imperceptible — you are distantly aware of Its faint warmth emanating from beyond. Every moment you spend running from It somehow brings you closer and closer.
The day you are not be able to sink any further is when It will come and grab you. When you think you’ve seen the last of It, It will come right up to you, hold your face, stare into your soul. You will struggle but you cannot escape how immense and blinding It is. You will feel Its hands clawing and grasping at your heart. And when finally Its overwhelmingly strong, warm hands entrap the bloody, bleeding organ, holding it tightly; you will be reminded that you have a heart.
It will jolt something within you, something repressed and hidden away, that now will emerge unrestrained in your mind’s eye. It will bite you, bleed you dry and suffocate you with cold earth that grounds you. You will have no choice but to emerge, anew, alive again; clawing out of the mud. Your fingernails will be caked with dirt and remnants of green grass.
Like an eternal curse sprung out of nowhere — the coffee will taste good, the sun will be warm on your bare back, and your relationship with your mother will be near-perfect. Your skin will glow with mysterious colour. Your teeth will glint when you smile.
Love the Vertigo storyboards
Are u okay bro